you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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