You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
