I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
