i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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