His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
