she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
