Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
