so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
