I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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