meet me or not, i'm out of control
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
