so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
