I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize