How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
smell my finger.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
