How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
