BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize