i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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