he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
