Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
