"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
