nut hugger
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
