just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
