she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
