when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
