No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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