he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
