she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
