Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
