i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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