oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize