he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
