...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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