I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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