I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
