you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
