Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
