We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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