your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm sobbing to NWA
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
