32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I will be naked everywhere
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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