Your tits are I can't wait for
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
