so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
