So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
do herpes really smell.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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