As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
