Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
