She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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