Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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