Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
