so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize