are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Vodka?
Forever.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
