The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
