i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
