I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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Nobody puts babies in a corner.
if you want to be surrounded by images of constant mistakes, find a room full of mirrors.
We have a name for those people: "Safer sex counselors."
Or you could just be a little careful about choosing sexual partners and/or be more diligent about using condoms...
Or you could just act like an adult.
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