I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
