I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize