I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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