How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
