This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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