Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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