omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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