DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
