One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
