NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
