New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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