Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
