so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
