Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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