Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize