great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
