Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize