Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
