The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
