the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
