Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
