don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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