A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize